I knew all along that Fallen Kingdom would never live up to Jurassic Park, so going in, my expectations were low. I was hoping for something that was terrible, but in a delightful way; to a degree, it met my expectations. That being said, I hate that this is the state of the franchise. Continue reading “Jurassic World: Fallen Franchise”
I last wrote that the previews for Jurassic World gave me hope. I had hope that this movie would generate a feeling of nostalgia, allowing me to relive perhaps the most magical time of my childhood. What it actually did was violently bludgeon my childhood with a barrage of overblown CG and godawful one-liners. To continue this full-scale attack on everything sacred, Target joined in the fun by releasing the entire raptor squad in action figure format. When I got my raptors home, however, careful inspection revealed that they had all been neutered of their RETRACTABLE CLAWS. That’s what makes a raptor a raptor, but I guess not in this brave new world. There is only one good thing to come out of this movie, and it’s the Jurassic Smash Blizzard at Dairy Queen. At least I can eat my feelings as I remember the good old days when animatronics could live in harmony with CG, and raptors were not robbed of their most notable trait. Continue reading “Jurassic World – A Desecration of All That is Good”
Please excuse the lack of a full post today. On Thursday, my childhood unexpectedly died following a viewing of Jurassic World. I am taking this week to fully gather my thoughts and to attempt to move on from this tragedy. You can expect a full explanation early next week, along with my usual book review.
//ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&OneJS=1&Operation=GetAdHtml&MarketPlace=US&source=ac&ref=qf_sp_asin_til&ad_type=product_link&tracking_id=dantra0c-20&marketplace=amazon®ion=US&placement=B0087ZG7HK&asins=B0087ZG7HK&linkId=QW6EUXXOIL652D6Y&show_border=true&link_opens_in_new_window=trueAs Jurassic Park is one of my favorite movies in the whole wide world, I am compelled to share a few words regarding the imminent release of Jurassic World. Continue reading “Some Thoughts on Jurassic World”