American Horror Story: Coven, Episode 313: “The Seven Wonders”

I am so glad that this shitty season of American Horror Story is over so that I can focus my attentions on the shitty season of The Walking Dead. I have nothing to look forward to in the world of television other than 90 Day Fiance, which never lets me down and always has a better plot than Coven. Continue reading “American Horror Story: Coven, Episode 313: “The Seven Wonders””

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American Horror Story: Coven, Episode 312: “Go to Hell”

With only one episode left in Season 3, I thought that perhaps the writers of American Horror Story: Coven might feel compelled to try wrapping up some of the holes in the plot. Granted, with all of the damage that has been done to this season, this task would certainly take more than one episode. I still thought they might give it a shot. When will I learn? Murphy has never adequately wrapped up a season of American Horror Story, and I don’t know why I thought he would start now. Continue reading “American Horror Story: Coven, Episode 312: “Go to Hell””

American Horror Story: Coven, Episode 310: “The Magical Delights of Stevie Nicks”

First off, I would like to apologize for the notable absence of a review for episode 309; try as I might, I had absolutely nothing to say about that episode. It was all just very mehh. I could actually say the same for “The Magical Delights of Stevie Nicks,” but “mehh” just doesn’t adequately capture my feelings towards this episode. Continue reading “American Horror Story: Coven, Episode 310: “The Magical Delights of Stevie Nicks””

American Horror Story: Coven, Episode 308, “The Sacred Taking”

“The Sacred Taking” refers to a revered ritual that the ladies partake in in order to try and save the coven. Ideally, the climax of this ritual involves the Supreme taking her own life. Fiona clearly won’t go down without a fight, so Cordelia and co. must get creative to convince their Supreme that she should just end it all now. Strangely enough, Fiona doesn’t need much convincing. Continue reading “American Horror Story: Coven, Episode 308, “The Sacred Taking””

American Horror Story: Coven, Episode 306: “The Axeman Cometh”

Once upon a time in the village of Salem, there was a woman named Sarah Good. Sarah was not very popular with the people in her town; in fact, she is reported as being “a marginal woman and no doubt a nuisance to her neighbors.” One day, some girls in the town of Salem were accusing people of witchcraft, and since nobody liked Sarah in the first place, she seemed a likely suspect. A warrant for arrest on the basis of witchcraft was issued on February 29, 1692 against Tituba, Sarah Osborne, and, of course, Sarah Good. Lots of people spoke against Sarah at her trial. Her husband stated that Sarah was “the enemy to all good.” Even Sarah’s six-year-old daughter, Dorcas, testified against her mother. Continue reading “American Horror Story: Coven, Episode 306: “The Axeman Cometh””

American Horror Story: Coven, Episode 305: “Burn, Witch, Burn!”

I’ve come to expect a certain level of cheesiness from Coven. I’m still annoyed by the painful one-liners (“She done mess with the wrong witch” being perhaps the most repellant thus far), but I can tolerate them. What I cannot tolerate from this show, however, is predictability, and “Burn, Witch, Burn!” contains some surprisingly clichéd moments. Continue reading “American Horror Story: Coven, Episode 305: “Burn, Witch, Burn!””

American Horror Story: Coven, Episode 304: “Fearful Pranks Ensue”

“Fearful Pranks Ensue” offers a lot of setup and a notable lack of unsettling incest. That being said, the show’s familiar themes of life, death, and rebirth all feature predominantly in this episode despite Misty’s absence and Kyle’s limited screen time. This week, we really get to see what Marie Laveau can do. Oh, and we get to see that Spaulding is potentially into necrophilia and has a delightful collection of dollies, teacups, and at least one bonnet. Continue reading “American Horror Story: Coven, Episode 304: “Fearful Pranks Ensue””