A Defense of a Very Branagh Frankenstein

There have been a lot of Frankenstein adaptations made over the years, and every single one of them, with the exception of Young Frankenstein, is terrible. These films tend to have little in common with Mary Shelley’s 1818 novel asides from a re-animated creature and an overzealous creator. Pop culture has marred the story to the point that most people are unaware that there is actually no hunchbacked assistant and that Frankenstein is the name of the man, not the monster. Shelley’s story is a multi-faceted warning about the dangers of ambition and isolation, themes that tend to be overlooked by the big screen versions. That is, until one man stepped up to the plate. That’s right, I’m talking about Kenneth Branagh, who took Shelley’s themes to heart when he directed and starred in perhaps the most over-ambitions renditions of Frankenstein to ever exist. It’s not great. In fact, it’s pretty bad. The film itself manages to mirror the plight of the pitiful creature – scarred and ugly in appearance, but with some worthwhile traits beneath that gnarly surface. Here are five reasons why Branagh’s effort is simultaneously terrible and worthwhile. Continue reading “A Defense of a Very Branagh Frankenstein”


Jurassic World – A Desecration of All That is Good

I last wrote that the previews for Jurassic World gave me hope. I had hope that this movie would generate a feeling of nostalgia, allowing me to relive perhaps the most magical time of my childhood. What it actually did was violently bludgeon my childhood with a barrage of overblown CG and godawful one-liners. To continue this full-scale attack on everything sacred, Target joined in the fun by releasing the entire raptor squad in action figure format. When I got my raptors home, however, careful inspection revealed that they had all been neutered of their RETRACTABLE CLAWS. That’s what makes a raptor a raptor, but I guess not in this brave new world. There is only one good thing to come out of this movie, and it’s the Jurassic Smash Blizzard at Dairy Queen. At least I can eat my feelings as I remember the good old days when animatronics could live in harmony with CG, and raptors were not robbed of their most notable trait.Snapshot_20150623_195610 Continue reading “Jurassic World – A Desecration of All That is Good”

My sincerest apologies…

Please excuse the lack of a full post today. On Thursday, my childhood unexpectedly died following a viewing of Jurassic World. I am taking this week to fully gather my thoughts and to attempt to move on from this tragedy. You can expect a full explanation early next week, along with my usual book review.

Some Thoughts on Jurassic World

//ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&OneJS=1&Operation=GetAdHtml&MarketPlace=US&source=ac&ref=qf_sp_asin_til&ad_type=product_link&tracking_id=dantra0c-20&marketplace=amazon&region=US&placement=B0087ZG7HK&asins=B0087ZG7HK&linkId=QW6EUXXOIL652D6Y&show_border=true&link_opens_in_new_window=trueAs Jurassic Park is one of my favorite movies in the whole wide world, I am compelled to share a few words regarding the imminent release of Jurassic World. Continue reading “Some Thoughts on Jurassic World”

A Simple Plan by Scott Smith

A Simple Plan is one of those truly rare instances in which the film is actually better than the book. Not that the book is bad – it’s actually quite good – but since author Scott Smith also wrote the screenplay, he was able to edit out the aspects of the plot that just didn’t work out very well. So, while the novel is definitely worth reading, if I had to pick one, I would go with the movie.

Continue reading “A Simple Plan by Scott Smith”

Horns (the movie)

My inside sources were able to provide me with an advanced copy of the film adaptation of Horns. Yeah, I know – I’m kind of a big deal. Commoners won’t be able to see the film until this coming Friday (October 31st). Actually, it was available for early rental on Amazon Prime; I guess that’s somewhat comparable to having an exclusive inside source. I have been eagerly awaiting the release of this film for some time, so when I stumbled across it, I rented it immediately. My unsurprising assessment? The book was better. Continue reading “Horns (the movie)”


Spoiler: Will and Eveylyn Caster turn into sunflowers by teleporting through what I can only assume is magic technology dirt. This was the parting image that Transcendence left me with. It was clearly not the sort of surprise ending I was anticipating. No one wanted to go see this movie with me. I should know by now that if I have to go see a movie by myself, it is probably not going to end well. Apparently, I have yet to learn this lesson. Continue reading “Transcendence”