Faking It by Elisa Lorello

//ws-na.amazon-adsystem.com/widgets/q?ServiceVersion=20070822&OneJS=1&Operation=GetAdHtml&MarketPlace=US&source=ac&ref=qf_sp_asin_til&ad_type=product_link&tracking_id=dantra0c-20&marketplace=amazon&region=US&placement=0547744978&asins=0547744978&linkId=TGRL4EHANEKHKWHH&show_border=true&link_opens_in_new_window=true50 Shades of Grey launched a deluge of copycat trilogies, because if this world needs one more thing, it’s more poorly-written erotic fiction. I really didn’t think that any other author could compare to EL James, but by the grace of Kindle Unlimited, I came across Faking It. This novel took my breath away for all the wrong reasons. The plot, the characters, the writing, everything about it screamed 50 Shades wannabe. Well congrats, Ms. Lorello, your book continues the strange chain of emulation started by James. We all know that 50 Shades of Grey started out as fan fiction for Twilight, and Faking It does have that same sort of feel, only towards the works (I use that term loosely) of James. So I guess Devin is, in a way, Edward Cullen. Great.

Goodreads offers a nice little synopsis of all of its books. This was the opening line of Faking It‘s summary: “What happens when a writing professor and a male escort become friends?” It sounds like a bad joke. I guess in a way it is. In a nutshell, a writing professor named Andi goes to some faculty party and meets a male escort. Every female faculty member, with the exception of Andi, has at some point utilized this guy’s services. Intrigued, Andi gives him a call, and an offer: she will teach him about writing if he will teach her about sex. Yeah, she’s never had sex, I forgot that part. Devin the escort has at no point expressed any interest in writing, and tells Andi exactly that. Nevertheless, he accepts her awkward offer and the two work up a contract to get things started. How original.

Edward…I mean Christian…whoops, I mean Devin, proceeds to have teaching sessions with Andi, and he insists that he will not see her outside of these sessions under any means at all ever. Then he goes on to call her all the time to hang out and go to the movies. Andi grows weary of this undefined relationship, meets some other professor and promptly gets engaged. Devin gets upset. What will happen to this unrequited love? I guess we’ll find out, since Amazon now thinks I actually like reading this crap and it tells me every damn day that there is a sequel available for my reading pleasure.

Considering the fact that Faking It is about an escort, there is relatively little sex. In fact, it’s mostly about Andi discussing writing techniques and theory while Devin demonstrates the importance of dancing naked in front of a mirror.

In short, there is no reason for anyone to read this book. And yet I did. I didn’t even read the back of the book before I read it. I dove in, not knowing what I was in for and immediately regretting the decision. I couldn’t stop. It was like a trainwreck, so so bad that I had to stare at the carnage before me. I did it for you, dear readers. May you never experience the horror of reading this travesty. Now you know.

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