The Walking Dead, Episode 313: “Arrow on the Doorpost”

Hand over Michonne please. Please. I like the concept of Michonne, but I cannot bear another week of Danai Gurira’s dismal portrayal of what should be a fantastic character. Sorry, Danai. I’m sure you’re a lovely human being, but your ability to express depth is almost as non-existant as the compassion you draw from audiences. I don’t think that the Governor will leave Team Prison alone if Michonne is delivered to him, but what if he did? We’d never see him again! No more Governor, no more Woodbury, no more Michonne. Then my beloved The Walking Dead would be restored to its initial glory, sans this slew of offensively annoying characters.

I have nothing deep or contemplative to say about this espisode. That being said, every sex scene makes me cringe due to the scarcity of personal hygiene products in a zombie apocalypse. Halitosis must be running rampant, as Listerine and toothpaste are not the most essential of needs. The same can be said of deoderant. And razors. Thus Maggie and Glenn’s seemingly romantic tryst is, in reality, hairy and smelly, at best.

Also, was anyone else confused by this surprise summit meeting? For the first 6 minutes or so, I had no idea what was happening. A meeting of this magnitude should have been at least alluded to in previous episodes, but maybe everyone was too busy doing “Stuff and Things.”

Finally, I have one thing to say about the Governor. QUIT REMOVING YOUR EYEPATCH. Please. I don’t know where the hell you found that thing, but leave it on your nasty, pussy eye. Eye injuries are particularly disturbing to me, and that man never tires of exploiting the shock value of his injury. Ughh.

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